Staying in the Shadows
by TheOddManOut
Summary: Not everything is what you expect it to be. Some say life is a dream, others think dreams live an own life.
1. I remember

This is not a place for a nightclub, she thought to herself as she walked through the Glades. What is the logic in building a club in a place like this instead of in the centre of the city, she reasoned. Perhaps it is the danger people put themselves in when they are going to have a night out. Idiots, that's what they are. Why put yourself in danger if you don't have to? Ignorant rich people who have never been in real danger. If they ever faced something she had faced they would know better. This sort of nightclub was a place she could have pictured him in. An idiot young man, but was he was gone….

No, she did not want to think about it anymore. As she approached her destination, she heard shouts and laughter and loud music. Then a green light momentarily blinded her as the building, an old steel factory, came into view. Verdant, the supposedly 'hottest nightclub in town'. A long line of people stood in front of the building. Women in cocktail dresses wearing lots of jewelry stood in line chatting and laughing with their friends. Just that sight made her feel like a loner. How long has it been since she had girl-friends? Ever since she was a kid she has had a lot of guys around her but sometimes you just need a female friend. Yes, the two guys were nice to her but they were gone and it was her fault. She scolded herself, her mind wandered way too much. The woman before her said something to her friend in the purple dress. She only caught a few words: "the biggest partier opening his own nightclub!"and "I'd never think somebody like…would open a nightclub!" That was all she heard and something about this guy Tommy Merlyn being the manager.

She saw the burly man at the entrance giving her a look and after checking her ID he let her in. She checked her outfit: A long black dress with a split and black pumps. She checked her wig and tugged at a stray strand of fake brown hair that had come loose from the complicated updo she had made. She usually didn't do dresses but it was the best way to hide her Sig Sauer. Even though she preferred hand to hand combat, owning a gun was not such a bad idea. When she entered the club she looked immediately for the other exit. It was at the back to the left. Above her she saw a railing with behind it multiple doors. Those must be the manager's office and the owner's. Behind the bar and beside the stage she noticed a door with a security lock. Being who she was, she decided that she wanted to check it out and see what the owner was hiding. As she moved herself through the room she saw a couple of security guys standing in the shadows of the club. Who could afford eight security people while the club has just opened its doors? He must be a rich man. She walked to the bar and ordered a martini and pretended to take a sip. She moved closer to the door with the coded lock and studied it intently, trying to figure out how to open it. Without even looking behind her she could feel somebody coming closer to her and she heard a low voice asking her something. When she turned she saw a dark burly man in a suit with an earpiece. He asked her again: 'Will you come with me Miss?' She nodded and walked the way she was directed. To a staircase hidden in the back and to the upper floor with the railing. They walked to an office and the man opened the door en let her in. When they were both in the office, the man said to her: "So you think you can come here with a Sig Sauer strapped to your thigh". I must admit:" You've got guts". But I have to confiscate the weapon and send you home because my employer does not allow weapons inside his club. When he turned around to alert security to escort her out she grabbed his arm, twisted it and punched him in the gut. Taken by surprise, the man fell down but not before pushing some button on his phone. She kicked it away and stepped to the door. But just before she opened it, it flew open and a man in a grey suit with short cropped hair stepped inside. He closed the door carefully behind him and faced her.

"Why did you knock him out?" He asked. His voice triggered a memory of long ago but she did not want to think about him, not anymore. Her reply was also a question: "What do you have to hide?" He grinned but his eyes were like steel. When she whipped her Sig Sauer out he didn't look the least bit fazed. He grinned again and hooked his arm under hers and somehow grabbed the gun. When she processed what had happened she was facing the gun. But what amazed her was that move. Where did you learn that move? She asked. "In hell", he replied.

"What would a guy like you know about hell?" She raised her voice as she said it. "A lot, I've been there for five years". "Right", she said, "you were born with a platinum spoon in your mouth, what would you know about suffering?" His expression hardened after she said that.

He put the gun away and approached her. He kicked her and she had no idea how the guy had such skill. She punched him quite a few times but she ended up on the floor anyway. He blocked her windpipe and looked in her eyes. Then, a surprised look came over his face and he said just one word: Shado?


	2. WDYWFM?

_**If you're gone, then I need you**____**  
If you're gone, then how is any of this real?**____**  
When I'm on, I believe you**____**  
When I'm not, my knees don't even seem to feel**___

Then, a surprised look came over his face and he said just one word: Shado?

He removed his hand from my throat and backed away. He stumbled against the desk. His face was pale and he had both of his hands placed behind him, on the surface of the desk. Then, he turned around and held himself at arm's length and placed his head between his arms. I saw him shake his head and heard him softly mutter to himself.

I walked toward him and placed my hand on his right shoulder. 'Oliver?'I asked. When he turned around I saw the familiar face: blue eyes, determined jaw and something I didn't recognize. It was something in his eyes, a mixture of cold hatred and sadness, something I have never seen before.

When he looked me in the eye, he immediately averted his gaze. I heard him say something that sounded suspiciously like 'I must still be on Vertigo!'. He started pacing and kept rubbing his eyes. Then, he turned to me again, and said –more to himself than to me- 'this is a hallucination, this isn't real.'

'Oliver, listen to me!' I stopped him by grabbing his arm. 'This is no hallucination, please Oliver!'

He didn't seem to hear me.

'Is this a hallucination?'I asked and kissed him.  
He stopped short and pulled away. 'Shado?' 'Thank God, you are alive!' He hugged me but immediately let go when a blonde woman entered the office. She looked a bit stunned to see them.

'Eeehm, Oliver…' 'Are you going to introduce me to your..ehm.. _friend?' '_Not that I have something against friends, but I am wondering why one of your friends would knock Digg out. She must have good reason to do that, but yeah.. eh, I'll stop rambling now.' The blonde babbled and she looked a bit embarrassed.

'Shado, Felicity, Felicity, Shado', he said.

'Hi', Felicity offered nervously. I smiled and shook her outstretched hand. 'Hello Felicity, it is nice to meet you'.

'You are not going to knock me out too, right? Felicity asked and immediately got red cheeks. 'I am so sorry, I don't mean that, well, actually I do, but sorry, I just have no head-to-mouth filter' Her cheeks got even redder and I heard Oliver trying hard to stifle a laugh.

'Felicity', he said. 'Shado is my friend and I have known her for five years, she won't hurt you.'

I saw her slowly put the pieces together and she opened her mouth to ask the inevitable question.

'You were on the island too?' 'But.. Oliver, you told me your friends died there.'

'I thought so.' 'But evidently, I was wrong.'

'Shado, _how _is it possible you are alive?' I saw the explosion and I searched for days. 'I didn't find you or Slade for that matter.'

'I...I can't talk about it Oliver.' I looked down, hiding my face

'But when I saw the Vigilante on the news, I had hope that you somehow made it out alive because that was my father's bow and that suit was his idea. I came here because I need your help.'

'What can I do for you, Shado?' Oliver asked me.

I sighed and said: 'Deathstroke has come to America and he is heading for Starling City….'

**The song in the beginning is called "How by the Neighborhood"**

**Thanks for reading!**


	3. Guilt

_**Hey guys!**_

_**Thank you for your reviews, they really make my day :)**_

_**For the people wondering what WDWFM? means, it means: What Do You Want From Me?**_

_**It is a song and I felt like the black and white style in which the song is written described last chapter perfectly. If you would want to listen to it, it is a song by the Neighborhood but I have to warn you, it is very far from mainstream…**_

_**Constructive criticism is appreciated.**_

_**Oh, and special thanks to and Oiaso, 'cause you are awesome!**_

_**Merry Christmas everybody!**_

_How can I sleep  
If I don't have dreams  
I just have nightmares_

**Oliver's Point of View:**

'No, no, I muttered.' 'No, Shado!' I screamed and bolted upright. My heart was beating very fast in my chest and I felt like I had just run a marathon. Then, I looked around, I saw a sofa standing by my side, a blanket at the end of the bed and I realized I was home, in my own bedroom. I put my hands over my eyes to get the images out of my head. It was all a dream, Shado is dead, she didn't come to Starling City. She is gone…

I got up, got dressed and stepped outside. It must be around 5 o'clock in the morning because I could just see the small streaks of sunlight that meant the dawn of a new day. I grabbed my motorcycle and rode of, to the only place I could think of.

I heard somebody walking down the stairs of the lair. I sat there with my back against the wall with my arms around my knees, thinking.

When I felt a small hand on my shoulder, I looked up, foolishly hoping to see someone who wasn't there. I looked up and saw Felicity. She had a worried look on her face, I noticed. I was struck by how much they resembled each other. Not on the outside, but their heart. They resembled each other so much it hurt and I didn't know how I missed it before.

'Felicity' I said softly, not daring to speak louder, out of fear that she might disappear too.

'Felicity, why are you here?' I asked her.

'Well, I said I would help you by updating the computers and I was up early and it is Saturday, so I thought I could go here, but I didn't expect…' She closed her eyes and seemed to count to ten. When she opened her eyes again, she looked a bit embarrassed because she had only just saved herself and me from a big rambling session.

'Oliver, please tell me why you are here' she said, slowly approaching me and sitting beside me, all movements careful, like she was afraid of what I might do.

'I had a nightmare' I told her, not looking her in the eye.

'About the island?' she questioned.

' Did I ever tell you about my….my companions on the island?' I asked her, hesitating a moment.

'No, I only know their names, not how you met them.'

'I met a man named Yao Fei, he was on the run for a man named Fryers. I ran into Fryers and he took me to his camp. There, he kept asking me if I knew the man in the picture he showed me.'

She interrupted me and asked me if I knew the man. 'Yes, he was Yao Fei' I replied.

When I said I didn't know him, he called for someone, a man wearing a black/yellow mask and a death stroke.'

When she looked at me, clearly confused, I said: 'a blade.'

After hearing that, realization dawned and I saw her look at my chest and back at my face again. When she opened her mouth to speak, I interrupted her by saying: ' he tortured me.' 'After that, Yao Fei helped me escape.'

'I met other people there, an ASIS agent named Slade Wilson.' 'He taught me to fight and exercise.' 'We helped this woman escape from Fryers, that was Shado.' When I said her name, I saw my dream images again. 'She was Yao Fei's daughter and the person who taught me to shoot.'

'Slade told me that the man who tortured me once was his partner Billy Wintergreen. But Wintergreen had forsaken the mission and sided with Fryers.'

'The three of us, Slade, Shado and I, lived in the plane wreck you saw. She and I were together for some time. She loved me and she thought I felt exactly the same about her, but to me, she was just a distraction from the misery.'

'I did love her, but not like she loved me.' 'She never saw me as the man I was, because I hadn't changed a bit, the misery I had faced then didn't change my ways.' 'The only time she did saw me for who I really was, was before she died.'

'Oliver, how..?'

' When we killed Fryers, others came.' 'They were searching for something they called Mirakuru.'

'That is the super-soldier serum with which Cyrus Gold was injected, Felicity gasped.'

'Sarah was with them and they forced me to tell me where it was. I escaped with Slade and Shado's help but I took Sarah with me. Shado asked me how I knew her and I told her she came with me on the Gambit and that she was laurel's sister. That was the only time she saw me for what I was, a dishonest, awful man who only cared for himself.'

'Slade was wounded so we wanted to inject him with the Mirakuru to save him, but we thought he died because of it.'

'When they captured us again, one of them held Sarah and Shado at gunpoint and made me choose. I didn't and instead, threw myself forward so that he could shoot me instead of one of them.' 'He killed her, Felicity, he shot her through the head without a second thought.' Emotion welled up in my throat when I said that.

'I should have thrown myself toward him, begged him to kill me instead.' 'She shouldn't have died, it is my fault!' 'It is my fault.' 'I…I,' I couldn't speak further because of the guilt I felt pressing on my chest.

Felicity inched her hand toward mine and grabbed it. With the other she caressed my face. Again, it hit me how much they resembled each other and I had trouble holding myself together.

'What about Slade, you said you thought he died, but he didn't, right?' she inquired, clearly trying to get of the subject of Shado's death.

'No, he didn't and when he found us, he saw her lying on the ground.'

'At that moment, I found out he loved her, but she never returned it. Instead, she chose someone who didn't really care about her as much as she did for him, -me-, he threatened to kill me the next time he saw me.'

'He became my worst enemy.'

'Felicity, I dreamt that Shado came to Starling City. I saw everything through her eyes and I felt how much she had loved me. She warned me that Deathstroke was coming.'

'Please, help me because I have to listen to her, she came to me in my dream to warn me.'

' What kind of search terms shall I search on?' She asked me, and still seemed quite shocked that I told her all of this.

'Slade Wilson'

She had her fingers positioned over the keyboard, ready to type but she turned around when I said that, a shocked expression on her face.

**I hope I did okay. It was quite a tough one to write, I have to say.**

**The song in the beginning is called: 'Staying up-the Neighborhood'**

**Thanks for reading!**


	4. Darkness

**Hey guys! Happy new year! **

**Sorry for the late update, I am currently busy studying for my tests (yes, in my winterBREAK) **

**I have so many ideas for this story, but not much time, so yeah..**

**A special thanks to Weewebo and because you are both great support for me!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arrow(like you didn't know that already)**

**Oh, and if you are confused, every chapter from Shado's pov is a dream.**

**Here we go!**

**I'm having trouble in believing,  
And I just started seeing,  
Light at the beginning of the tunnel**

I heard the man I just knocked out grunt. He must be conscious again, I think. I heard his name is Diggle and I am pretty sure he is Oliver's accomplice. He stands up and rubs the back of his head and looks at me.

'I am sorry, I say, I didn't know you were with Oliver.'

'Doesn't matter, but I would really like to know that move', he grins and holds out his hand.

I shake it and say:' Shado.'

I see a small frown flash over his head and I am sure he knows who I am.

'Diggle', he replies and immediately asks: 'were you…?'

'Yes, I was there', I interrupt him.

Then, Oliver clears his throat and asks me if I want to go to the 'secret base'.

I must look confused because Felicity immediately starts: 'you know, like eeeeh… the BatCave! You know 'Batman begins' right? Oh, I love Christian Bale in that movie!'

When she sees Oliver glare in her direction, she stops talking about Christian Bale and continues:

' It is our secret operation base under this club, I always call it the lair but Oliver hates that name.' she grins evilly when she says that.

'So, let's go to the lair then', I say to Oliver and give Felicity a high-five.

We walk toward the door with the security code-pad next to it and Oliver enters the code. He walks in first and I hear his footfalls on the stairs. I follow him and walk into the darkness.

Then, suddenly, lights flash on and I see the most perfect operation base I have ever seen.

'So, what do you think?', he asks me. I turn around to face him and I tell him that this is great.

'All thanks to Felicity here', he says and he gives her a smile. A real smile, I add in my mind.

'So, Mr. Diggle, do you want to learn that move or not? ' I ask him.

'Sure thing! 'Let's go to the training mats!' he smiles and I think by myself that Oliver chose a great sidekick. One who could have him see beyond his anger.

When Diggle and I walk toward the mat, I see Felicity and Oliver talking. I am sure that there is something going on between the two of them and if I am correct, Oliver is the one who is holding back.

I hear them talk about Deathstroke and I see Felicity taking place behind one of the many screens and look up at Oliver who tells her, what I assume are the search terms.

Diggle and I start to warm up and I can see that he is a good fighter. I show him the move and we practice it for a while.

We walk back toward Felicity and Oliver. I ask Oliver why he looks so worried and he replies that a young man he knows has been injected with Mirakuru.

'I am thinking about letting him join the team', he says and I see both Diggle and Felicity look up.

'But Oliver, when I said we should let him join, you opposed to that idea' Felicity says and looks positively confused.

'That is true, but Felicity, you always have a point and I have been thinking about it…' Oliver smiles warmly at her.

'Oliver, can I talk to you?' , 'privately', I add after I get a confused look from him

'Felicity, Diggle, can you give us a minute?' he asks.

They walk away and Oliver takes me to the back of the lair, where the training mats are.

'What is it, Shado?' he asks softly and puts a hand on my shoulder.

' Felicity', I say and I continue: 'Please, Oliver, let her in. She is important and let her know that! She is the heart of this team. The glue that keeps you and Diggle together. She is sensitive and she is the innocence you sometimes lack.'

He starts to say something but I interrupt him.

'You can't see it, can you?'. 'Oliver, this is so similar, the three of you are like you, me and Slade. The teacher, the apprentice and the mediator. She and I are similar Oliver, please don't make mistakes you have already made.'

**Oliver's point of view:**

I see darkness take away the lair and bring me to another place. I am myself again and somehow, I know I am dreaming. When I look around me, all I can see is darkness and one pinpoint of light that seems so far away.

Then, I hear my name echo around the room…

**Thanks for reading!**


	5. Nevermore

**Hey guys, this is a short chapter and I really hope I did okay. It was quite a hard one to write...**

**I obviously don't own Arrow.**

_All alone,  
All we know,  
Is haunting me,  
Making it harder to breathe._

**Oliver's point of view:**

I see darkness take away the lair and bring me to another place. I am myself again and somehow, I know I am dreaming. When I look around me, all I can see is darkness and one pinpoint of light that seems so far away.

Then, I hear my name echo around the room…

It is a voice I know very well, a voice I have feared every time I dreamt it.

'No!' I yell and I look up angrily, trying to find him.

'Oliver Queen', he says again, 'you are in a place you cannot see'.

'You are almost consumed by darkness, by hate.'

'But, he continues in a voice close to a whisper, you are like an insect. You try to reach the light from the dark place you are in, but when you are close, you pull away, you get burned.'

'Do you know why?', he asks me, ' Because you can't stand the light anymore and you know...the light can't stand YOU! He shouts the last word and I cringe.

'You don't deserve the light! You deserve to be consumed by darkness…..'

'like you didn't deserve her, he continues, because YOU didn't love her!'

'You just couldn't stand to be alone' he shouts. 'Or maybe, she was just good for your ego!' 'She was too good for you and you used her!'

'She made you feel better in all the misery we were in, but you didn't care for her!'

I sat down hard, because every word he said was right. I am in a place I cannot see, because my guilt overwhelms me.

'Because you don't let the people you love DIE!' he shouts

'And do you know, Oliver Queen, I am going to tear everything you care about away from you, I will destroy those who choose to follow you, and I will corrupt everyone you love.'

'Oliver Queen, you are nothing….'

I put my head in my hands. I can hear his last word echo in my head as I see everything around me disappear.

'Nothing….'

'Nothing…'

'Nothing….'


	6. Corrupt

**Hey guys! I am sorry for the late update..**

**Enjoy!**

_Being me can only mean  
Feeling scared to breathe  
If you leave me then I'll be afraid of everything_

'Nothing…'

The word echoes in my head when I wake up. It bounces around in my head and I can feel its weight press on my chest, keeping me from breathing. I sit up straight and get out of bed, the blanket laying disheveled at the end of the bed and the pillows on the floor.

I grab my watch from the bedside table and see that it is 7:15 in the morning. I decide to take a shower and see what to do next. It is a Sunday, so I can't go stomping around the house because Mom and Thea are still asleep.

When I stand under the hot spray of the shower, I slowly start to remember the rest of the dream. He said that I was in a place I cannot see, and somehow in my dream I understood what he meant. I saw the darkness in my heart, with only a pinprick of light to reach out to.

I step outside the shower and get dressed. I decide that I don't want to have breakfast alone after this night and I decide to go to Felicity. She is, as far as I know, a morning person and I think that talking to her will make me see things differently.

I take my motorcycle out of the garage and drive to her neighborhood. She lives in an apartment in the Van Gogh Street. She lives on the top floor and when I park, I can see light streaming from her windows.

I walk to the door and I can hear the surprise in her voice when I ask her to buzz me in. I make my way up 10 flights of stairs. I like walking, it gives me time to think. When I reach her floor, I can see her standing just outside her apartment door, waiting for me.

'Oliver!' she rushes to me and gives me a hug, which I gladly return.

'Is everything alright? Are you hurt? Did I forget something?' she asks me and I can't help but chuckle.

'I was wondering if we could have breakfast together…' I said and I hear her let out a breath she was holding.

Then, a surprised look crosses her face but she manages to hide it almost immediately. 'Breakfast?' 'Not that I don't eat breakfast, because I do, but I never imagined to have breakfast with you. In my apartment. Not that I mind'. She finished her rambling and bit her lip in shame.

She gestures for me to go inside. Then, I realize I have never been here. The apartment is full of light, colors, huge windows and flowers.

I take a seat on a red couch and the moment she sits down too, I can see dark circles under her eyes. She sees me looking and says: 'I had a rough night, Oliver.'

'What is the matter Felicity?' I ask her.

'I was thinking.' She drops her head in her hands.

'Hey', I inch closer to her on the couch and awkwardly put an arm around her shoulder.

'What is the matter Felicity?' 'Talk to me, please.'

She leans forward and grabs a file from her coffee table. She hands it to me and says: 'I found this in my mailbox last night.'

I open the file and I see a picture of Edward Rasmus. Beside his picture is one of two young boys and a girl.

I flip through the pages and I see every criminal I took out since Felicity joined the team. Beside every picture is a family picture, or just children.

'What is this?' I look up and I see two tears drip from her eyes. 'All the guys you killed but…it has information about their children. How they dealt their father's deaths, their dishonesty and what became of them… she sniffs.

'Oliver, some of these kids..they are orphans now.' She sniffs.

'And it is my fault..' She says, 'it is my fault because I helped you.'

'Felicity, I am so sorry you had to see this.' 'I…'

'That wasn't everything Oliver.' She looks at me and grabs a letter from the table.

She gives it to me. I open the letter and start to read:

'_He is just using you, you know?'_

I stare at the words, printed on the paper and then look up at her.

'You don't believe this, do you?'

'Felicity, look at me' I say when she doesn't respond.

'You are my partner, my friend. I rely on you. As a friend once said, you are the heart of the team.'

'Felicity, you are the only person who can make me see the light.'

'I don't think I should be on the team anymore' she says softly.

'Felicity… ' That moment, it hits me.

'_And do you know, Oliver Queen, I am going to tear everything you care about away from you, I will destroy those who choose to follow you, and I will corrupt everyone you love.'_

I hear his voice echo in my head, and I see Felicity look up, a strange look on her face.

'What did you say, Oliver?' She asked me and I realize that I spoke those words out loud.

'I dreamt about him.' I say softly. He said he will corrupt everyone I care about, everyone who believes in me.

'This is his doing Felicity.' 'He is trying to make me weak.'

'I can't be the Hood without you.' 'Please stay on the team.'

'Felicity, we can do this together, we are a team.' I say to her and look her in the eyes.

'Okay, Oliver.' Then, she adds with a small smile: 'I can't let you boys have all the fun without me.'

I get up and say: 'what about that breakfast?'

She smiles when I walk toward the kitchen area and softly says: 'Thank you, Oliver.'


End file.
